While I was digging around the Internet looking for content for this site I came across these. Apparently they’re all true and were written on resumes. If you’re thinking how to write resume content, then don’t put any of these in your resume! Enjoy..

Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!

Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.

Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated.

I am a rabid typist.

Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.

Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.

I worked as a Corporate Lesion.

Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.

Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.

Special skills: Thyping.

Personal: Five children. Dog: Jasper. Cat: Morris. Gerbil: Binky.

Please explain any breaks in your employment career: 15 minute coffee break while working at a home improvement store.

I can play well with others.